Does your child constantly forget homework, lose everything, struggle to get started, or have emotional meltdowns over simple tasks? Learn what executive functioning skills are, why they matter, common signs of executive functioning challenges, and practical ways parents can strengthen these important life skills at home.
“My child is so smart, so why can’t they remember to bring home their homework?”
“My child can explain every detail of their favorite video game but can’t remember to brush their teeth.”
“My child knows how to do their homework but it takes hours because they can’t get started.
Sound familiar? While these challenges can be frustrating, they don’t necessarily mean your child is lazy, careless, or unmotivated. They may simply need support developing executive functioning skills.
Executive functioning skills are the brain’s management system (Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University, n.d.). Every child has executive functioning skills. The question isn't whether they have them—it's how developed those skills are at this point in their growth and development. Executive functioning skills help us:
Plan ahead
Stay organized
Remember important information
Get started on tasks
Stay focused
Manage emotions
Solve problems
Finish what we start
Think of executive functioning as your brain's air traffic control system. Air traffic controllers keep dozens of planes organized and moving safely. Similarly, executive functioning skills help us manage thoughts, actions, emotions, and priorities throughout the day.
These skills don’t just affect a child’s school performance. They can also impact friendships, chores, sports, independence, work, and daily routines.
10 Executive Functioning Skills Every Parent Should Know
There are several lists of executive functioning skills because different researchers organize them slightly differently. I will be using the Dawson & Guare model (Dawson & Guare, 2018). Below is a list of important executive functioning skills, what they mean, and examples of how they are needed.
Why does my child struggle with executive functioning?
If you’ve found yourself asking any of the questions above and wondering why your child forgets instructions, loses everything, struggles to get started, or has big reactions to small problems, you’re not alone. Executive functioning skills develop gradually throughout childhood and adolescence. In fact, the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brian responsible for these skills, continues developing into the early to mid 20s (Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University, n.d.).
That doesn’t mean every child will struggle with executive functioning skills until they reach adulthood, but just like learning to read or ride a bike, these skills develop over time. Younger children naturally need more support, while older children begin to become more independent. Every child develops at a different pace and that’s OK! However it is important to note that children with ADHD, autism, learning differences, or anxiety may need more explicit instruction and practice than others (Child Mind Institute, n.d.; National Center for Learning Disabilities, n.d.).
What does executive function look like at different ages?
Preschool (3-5 years old)
Learning: following simple routines, waiting for short periods of time, clean up with help, transition between activities
Still Need: frequent reminders, visual schedules, hands-on guidance, adult support for emotions
Struggles: forgetting directions, difficulty sharing or waiting, big reactions, difficulty following routines, easily distracted
Elementary (6-8 years old)
Learning: follow multi-step directions, organize simple materials, complete short tasks, manage basic routines
Still Need: checklist, adult reminders, help breaking tasks into smaller steps, consistent routines, support managing emotions
Struggles: forgetting things, losing materials, avoiding difficult tasks, difficulty staying focused, emotional reactions to mistakes
Upper Elementary (9-11 years old)
Learning: managing homework, use planners, begin long-term projects, more independence, managing multiple responsibilities
Still Need: help prioritizing tasks, regular check-ins, problem-solving coaching, support organizing materials, encouragement after setbacks
Struggles: procrastination, poor time management, forgetting assignments, underestimating how long work will take, becoming overwhelmed by larger projects
Middle School (11-14 years old)
Learning: managing multiple classes and teachers, planning ahead, organizing long-term assignments, self-monitoring
Still Need: structure without micromanagement, organizational systems, time management coaching, emotional support, accountability
Struggles: procrastination, difficulty balancing responsibilities, losing motivation, becoming overwhelmed
High School (14-18 years old)
Learning: managing increasing independence, long-term planning, prioritizing responsibilities, self-advocacy, preparing fo college, work, or life after graduation
Still Need: guidance rather than control, opportunities to make decisions, coaching through mistakes, help balancing responsibilities, emotional support
Struggles: procrastination, time management, stress management, following through, balancing academics, extracurricular activities, and social life
(Centers for Disease Control and Prevention [CDC], 2025; Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University, n.d.)
Signs your child may be struggling with executive functioning skills.
Your child may benefit from additional support if they regularly:
Lose homework, folders, or personal belongings
Forget multi-step directions
Have difficulty getting started on assignments
Leave projects until the last minute
Become overwhelmed by larger tasks
Have trouble staying organized
Frequently interrupt others
Become very upset when routines change
Need constant reminders for everyday tasks
Struggle to manage big emotions
However, every child forgets their homework once in a while, procrastinates occasionally, loses a jacket, or has a difficult day. The difference between typical executive functioning development and potential deficits is frequency, intensity, consistency, and impact on daily life (Child Mind Institute, n.d.).
Frequency - how often does it happen?
Forgetting a homework assignment once isn’t unusual. Forgetting materials several times a week despite reminders and routines may suggest your child needs additional support. Ask yourself: Does this happen once in a while or nearly every day? Is it occurring across multiple situations? Does my child need repeated reminders for the same tasks every day?
Intensity - how big is the reaction or difficulty?
Struggling with long, difficult, or uninteresting tasks is typical but the challenge comes when the struggle is significantly greater than what you would expect for the task. Examples include a small change that leads to a major meltdown, a simple homework assignment that becomes a two-hour struggle, minor mistakes that lead to giving up completely, or everyday tasks that require an unusual amount of adult support.
Consistency - does it happen everywhere or only in certain situations?
If a child struggles during math homework but functions well in every other setting, the issue may be related to math rather than executive function. On the other hand, if similar difficulties appear across school, home, extracurriculars, and daily routines, executive functioning may be playing a larger role. Ask yourself: Do you notice the same concerns at home and school? Do coaches, teachers, or other caregivers observe similar challenges? Has this been an ongoing pattern for several months or longer?
Impact on daily life - is it affecting your child’s ability to be successful or independent?
Executive functioning challenges may be affecting your child if they regularly miss assignments, forget important responsibilities, need consistent reminders for everyday tasks, avoid activities because they feel overwhelmed, show declining confidence or increasing frustration with school, or struggle to keep up with age-appropriate routines. It is important to also consider how these challenges affect your family – if getting out the door every morning has become a daily battle or homework consistently ends in tears, additional support may help both your child and your family.
Remember, no child has perfect executive functioning skills. Even adults forget appointments, procrastinate, lose their keys, or underestimate how long a project will take. The difference is that adults generally have more developed executive functioning skills and have learned strategies to compensate when they struggle. The goal isn’t to eliminate every struggle. It is to help children gradually develop the skills they need to become more independent, confident, and successful over time.
Can executive functioning skills be taught?
Absolutely. Just like any other skill, executive functioning skills can be taught, practiced, and improved (Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University, n.d.; Dawson & Guare, 2018). While children naturally develop these skills as their brains mature, parents, teachers, and caregivers play an important role in helping children practice them every day. Small, consistent opportunities to practice often have a greater impact than occasional intensive instruction. Here are some simple strategies to help your child build stronger habits and become more independent over time:
Working Memory
Ask your child to repeat directions back to you before getting started.
Break multi-step directions into one or two steps at a time.
Use visual checklists instead of relying only on verbal reminders.
Play memory-building games like Simon or Memory Match.
Encourage mental math and recall games during everyday activities.
Sustained Attention
Use timers for short, focused work sessions.
Reduce distractions by turning off unnecessary screens or noise.
Break longer assignments into smaller chunks with short movement breaks.
Encourage your child to finish one task before beginning another.
Gradually increase the amount of uninterrupted work time as your child's stamina improves.
Task Initiation
Break overwhelming tasks into a very small first step.
Use First, Then language: "First homework, then outside."
Set a two-minute timer and encourage your child to simply begin.
Replace "Are you ready?" with "Let's start the first question together."
Praise your child for getting started—not just for finishing.
Organization
Create a designated "launch pad" for backpacks, shoes, and lunchboxes.
Color-code folders, notebooks, or school subjects.
Schedule a weekly backpack and desk clean-out.
Label storage bins, drawers, and shelves.
Teach your child to check that they have everything they need before leaving a room.
Planning/Prioritizing
Break larger assignments into smaller tasks.
Use checklists to visualize each step.
Ask, "What's the first thing you need to do?"
Plan the week together using a calendar or planner.
Practice working backward from due dates to create a plan.
Time Management
Ask your child to estimate how long a task will take before starting.
Compare the estimate to the actual time afterward.
Use visual timers during homework or chores.
Work backward from deadlines to plan when to begin.
Build extra transition time into morning and bedtime routines.
Emotional Control
Help your child name and identify their emotions.
Teach calming strategies like deep breathing or counting to ten.
Model healthy ways to handle frustration.
Solve problems together after everyone is calm.
Praise flexible thinking and recovery after mistakes instead of expecting perfection.
Cognitive Flexibility
Play games that occasionally change the rules.
Brainstorm multiple solutions to everyday problems.
Read stories and discuss how characters solved problems differently.
Practice using phrases like, "Let's try another way."
Make small, planned changes to routines and talk through them together.
Impulse Control
Play self-control games like Red Light, Green Light, Freeze Dance, or Simon Says.
Practice waiting a few extra seconds before responding.
Model your own thinking aloud: "I'm excited, but I'm going to wait my turn."
Use visual reminders such as "Stop and Think."
Notice and praise moments when your child shows self-control.
Metacognition
Encourage your child to check their work before turning it in.
Ask reflection questions like: What went well? What was challenging? What would you do differently next time?
Teach your child to explain their thinking aloud.
Use simple self-checklists for homework or chores.
Celebrate when your child notices and corrects their own mistakes.
One way to help your child strengthen any of these skills is by allowing them to experience natural consequences. Allowing children to experience age-appropriate natural consequences in a safe and supportive environment helps them develop problem-solving, resilience, and independence.
Remember, you don't have to work on all ten executive functioning skills at once. Choose one or two areas where your child needs the most support and practice them consistently. Some children simply need more explicit instruction, practice, and support than others. The good news is that these skills can grow over time. With patience, consistent routines, and intentional teaching, children can become more independent, confident, and successful both in school and in everyday life.
References
Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University. (n.d.). Executive function & self-regulation. https://developingchild.harvard.edu/science/key-concepts/executive-function/
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2025). Developmental milestones. https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/actearly/milestones/
Child Mind Institute. (n.d.). What are executive functioning skills? https://childmind.org/article/what-are-executive-function-skills/
Dawson, P., & Guare, R. (2018). Smart but scattered: The revolutionary "executive skills" approach to helping kids reach their potential (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.
National Center for Learning Disabilities. (n.d.). Executive function 101. https://www.ncld.org/
Resources
Harvard Center on the Developing Child https://developingchild.harvard.edu/
Child Mind Institute https://childmind.org/
National Center for Learning Disabilities https://ncld.org/
Understood https://www.understood.org/
